5 Ways To Teach Respect To Your Kids
If you’re looking for ways to teach respect to your kids, you’re in the right place. Grab your drink of choice cause this is your crash course.
As parents, we work hard to make sure our kids respect us and all of the people around them.
Like most people, once kids know the who’s, what’s, when’s, where’s, and why’s of respect (more on this later) all else will follow.
Let’s think about it: If your kids don’t understand respect or who to respect, how will they know the way they themselves should be treated?
Once you teach respect to your kids, it’s a lot easier to teach them everything else, like teaching responsibility. If they truly know you’re the one to respect, they’ll listen to you more often than not.
What Do I Mean By “Respect?”
Well lets start here:
Respect is having admiration towards someone or something considered important.
It’s not as “demanding” as it sounds, I promise.
But, How Do I Teach Respect To Kids?
First, we have to teach them exactly what respect means and what it looks like. Then, we have to make sure we’re giving them the same respect we’re expecting.
Be Firm | Be Serious | Be Consistent
#1. Teach them the 5 W’s (who, what, when, where, why).
WHO?
Everyone. We should be teaching our kids to respect not only us but everyone around them. Most importantly, themselves.
WHAT?
Explaining what respect is to our kids is actually pretty easy. Just tell it to them in a way you know they can understand. Here are a few explanations I like to use:
- “Respect is how you feel about a person and how you treat them.”
- “Respect is treating someone the way you want to be treated.”
- “Respect is when you accept someone for who they are.”
An important part of learning what respect is, is also knowing what disrespect is.
In kids, disrespect can be anything from yelling over someone while they’re talking to name calling.
Try to gently correct disrepectful behavior by telling them how it made you feel and give them an alternative to what they say/do.
WHO?/ WHAT? Pt.2
Along with who do you respect and what is respect, there’s what do you respect?
Our kids should learn that we respect other people’s personal space, belongings, and opinions.
They should know it’s okay for people to not share the same interests. To always respect someones belongings whether it’s not making a mess in a friends room or being careful with a friends toy.
Teach them that they respect someone for who they are, not what they can get from them.
WHEN?
We want our kids to have respect at all times. Teaching them to show respect when respect is shown to them encourages it to come natural to them.
Even when we say, “no talking while the teacher is talking.” That’s instilling respect in our kids.
WHERE?
Everywhere. This includes when in school, in public, and in someone else’s home.
Saying things like “inside voice,” “no running in the store,” and “don’t touch anyones belongings” are times that you are teaching respect to your kids.
WHY?
We all know a childs favorite question to ask is “why?” Simply tell them how it makes people feel good.
Ask your child how they feel when someone says something mean to them. Or how it makes them feel when someone isn’t listening to them.
This will show them that we are respectful to others because we want others to be respectful to us.
Okay, I Told Them, Now What?
Great, they now know what respect is. But, like life, it’s not that easy.
Your actions as their parent plays a huge role in the level of respect your kids have for you. Be mindful of how you respond when your kids are engaging in conversation with you.
#2. Give them your undivided attention when having a conversation with them.
You know when you’re really excited to tell someone about something? And then that person is completely uninterested? Yeah, don’t do that with your kids.
I know you’ve heard the phrase “kids are sponges.” This means that if you don’t make eye contact while they talk to you, they’ll treat you the same. If you act uninterested in what they have to say, they’ll act the same way.
If they are uninterested in what we have to say, they won’t be able to follow our instructions. Which may come off as disrespectful.
#3. Talk to them like they’re a person.
No baby talk. Speak to them like they’re an adult and they’ll do the same.
We should be answering their questions as much as possible. They love to ask us “why” until they’ve gotten a full understanding.
Avoid saying “ because I said so.” They’re not asking to defy you, they’re asking for clarity because they simply do not know. It’s crucial to keep your cool when teaching your kids something new.
You cannot teach respect by being disrespectful. You have to give respect to get respect.
#4 Be emotionally available.
Kids are jam packed with emotions so big and they don’t even know how to sort through them. That’s where you come in.
Apologize when you mess up, same way you expect an apology from others. No shame in the game. We’re parents which means we’re far from perfect.
But showing them you acknowledge your mistakes makes them comfortable doing the same.
Validate their emotions and show them ways to control the big ones. Here are my go-to’s:
- Deep breath 3 times
- Count to 10 (twice if needed)
- Hug themselves or ask for a hug (this calms the nervous system)
#5 Respect their personal space + their belongings.
Ask permission before entering their room/ bathroom. Ask permission before touching their belongings/ their body.
Giving them privacy and allowing them to have boundaries for themselves will ensure they keep the same standards outside of the home.
Showing them they have a voice and deserve the same respect they have to give will make them trust you.
As crazy as it may seem, we’re not entitled to do whatever with our kids. They are their own advocates and we shouldn’t take that away from them. They’re going to need it when they’re adults.
What else should I know when teaching respect?
Parenthood is not a one size fits all. Take what you’ve learned here and make your own adjustments to fit each of your kids needs.
I’d say the biggest thing I learned when utilizing these steps in my home was that our kids just want to be seen. Aside from candy, toys, and video games, you are the center of your kids universe.
Keep pushing and always, always, stay consistent.
Got it, so that’s it?
Well, here’s where you and the entire family come in. How can you teach respect to your kids if not everyone in the home is on the same page?
Before you expect your kids to get a grasp on respect, have a talk with the people who are most involved in your kids life. Go ahead and share this post or key points that you have learned from it.
We all know it takes a village so be sure your entire village knows the importance of showing respect to your kids.
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Will be sure to continuing #4 in our household. “Parenting is not a one size fits all” adjusted to your own personal needs Ms family size is a must. Thanks so much for this. Keep it up!!