A Realistic Toddler Bedtime Routine That Is Stress Free
If you’re a parent, you know about the anticipation leading up to your toddler bedtime routine. Then the rush & stress that comes during. Quickly followed by the relief of a quiet house and alone time when your kids go to sleep.
My goal with this post is to help you find relief in your toddlers nighttime routine and limit the stress & toddler tantrums that come with it. In this post I share tips to help you get through the bedtime routine and everything that leads up to it.
To preface, I have a 5 year old and an 18 month old. Both go to bed and wake up at the same time every day while sleeping in separate rooms. Neither of them wakes during the night *agressively knocks on wood*. This has also been the routine since my 18 month old first came home!
First, I truly believe that a toddlers bedtime routine starts BEFORE the actual “routine.” I call it the closing shift, which easily translates to “grab another cup of coffee and buckle in”. For us, the closing shift starts at 4pm when I pour my fresh cup of coffee and start cooking dinner.
There are some things that I find has helped my toddler have an easier transition to bedtime and has encouraged her to have a natural sleep pattern.
- Fresh air. Getting some fresh air after nap time or right before dinner time will help reset their moods and set their circadian rhythm ( the internal clock), getting them sleepy right on time.
- If you’re going to use light in your toddlers room, red light is best ( never use blue, it will only disturb their sleep). We use the Hatch machine!
- Sound machine. We set our Hatch to rain sounds and it’s what has kept my toddler sleeping through the night since she was a baby.
- Let your toddler take control of the bedtime routine. Let them put the toothpaste on their toothbrush while you support from a distance. This will also teach them individual confidence and structure their independence.
TODDLER BEDTIME ROUTINE
If you haven’t already found this out the hard way, if your toddler naps outside of their usual timeframe, they will be up HOURS past bedtime and disrupt the bedtime routine.
Nap time can be tricky at this age because they’ll sometimes try to skip it. Whatever you do, NEVER let them skip their nap. If it’s just one of those days and your toddler absolutely will not nap, don’t let them nap when they get sleepy closer to bedtime. Distract them and keep them busy.
In my house, the bedtime routine starts during dinner prep. While I cook dinner, my toddler will play with her sister or do independent play. Sometimes she’ll give me a run for my money and need my attention while I cook.
AFTER DINNER ROUTINE
After dinner, we clean up together. Including your toddler in clean up time is a great way to teach responsibilty early on. After clean up we pick out our pajamas for the night and set them out while getting the bedroom into night mode.
Night mode: sound machine, humidifier, temperature set, lights off.
We are a bath every night family. We let our kids get really messy throughout the day and think it’s important for their health to not bring that into their beds with them. Also, warm baths always calm down our kids & get them into a sleepy mood.
After getting everything cleaned up and prepared, we fill up the bathtub. Get your child engaged by letting them pick their favorite bath toys or pouring the bubbles into the bath.
AFTER BATH TIME ROUTINE
After bath time, we get our favorite pajamas on (and moisturize) while talking about our day. Narrating with your toddler throughout the day even if they can’t clearly speak yet builds their vocabulary & teaches them important listening skills.
When we’re done with bath and pajamas, we do snack time. Of course you can do this before bath time, but we like to do snack time after bath because it allows us to catch our breath from the routine madness & spend intentional time together. We watch 30 mins of a movie or a quick show & enjoy a small snack.
After snack time, we brush teeth. This probably doesn’t need to be said, but brushing your toddlers teeth every night before bed will not only set them up for a good dental hygiene in the future, but also protect their growing teeth from plaque. (Not a dentist).
After we brush teeth, we “close down” the house. Similarly to clean up time, I think it’s important for your toddler to be involved in the turn down part of the routine. Putting your toddler to bed while the rest of the house is still very clearly awake, will leave room for plenty of bedtime fights.
If your kids see that everyone else is going to bed too (even if they really aren’t) they’ll be more willing to go to sleep.
After we close down the house, we get into their bed & let them choose: read a short book or quick tickle session. My kids usually go for the tickle session because it helps them get their last bit of energy out. Plus, it’s another way to bond & it’s fun for everyone!
This next part of the routine looks different for everyone. Whether you’re a family that stays with your kids while they fall asleep, or you let them self soothe to sleep. Personally, we stay with our kids while they go to sleep! Once they’re asleep, they stay asleep til morning.
TIPS TO KEEP IN MIND
- Be flexible. Kids are the opposite of consistent. They get bored, they teethe, they skip naps, they get overtired. Not every day will be the same which means that your bedtime routine might not always be easy. The routine doesn’t have to be down to the exact minute. Be flexible but stay consistent!
- Keep it fun for them. Let them choose what they want to do first: brush their teeth or read a book. Let your toddler think they are the one in control.
- Plan ahead. Before the bedtime routine even begins, start on the “pre-routine” tasks. Have your toddler pick out their pajamas, set the bedroom up for night time (lights, sounds, temperature), get their bath stuff together.
- Set the time & take it slow. Bedtime routine in my house goes so much smoother for everyone when I only focus on the routine. Do not try to fit anything else into the schedule during that time to avoid stressing yourself out or rushing the bedtime routine.
Babies & toddlers find comfort in routine because they can anticipate what is going to happen next in their day. Having regular routines allows children to build self-regulation skills. Don’t give up on the routine after only a couple days. They take time to adjust to, especially for toddlers & kids.
The best way to get your toddler to stick to a routine is with consistency.
I hope this helps momma!